For my dumb-shit neighbors I found a few tips that might help you ….

Halloween Etiquette for Kids!

• Stay off the grass and out of the flowerbeds.
• If the porch light is off, pass up the house and go only to well-lit doors. (assuming they have treats)
• Don’t block the door once you have received your treat.
• Don’t ask for more candy or another type of candy.
• Only ring the doorbell one time. Don’t knock after the ring.
• Don’t ask for water or a restroom at anyone’s house.

Now I bolded the one I want to mention to you. When you have three exterior lights on, a pumpkin on the front porch, and your house looks scary as hell, it give the idea you’re participating in Trick-or-Treat. Now I realized you all are a bunch of FuckTards or something but why waste the kids time. We knew you were scurrying behind the closed door peaking out a blind, and when we left still didn’t shut your gate or turn off your lights?

Now I typically don’t go for the trick end of Halloween but next year if you do it again I will make an exception for you. Seriously though and I’m asking politely, if you’re too cheap and have a stick up your ass about a child’s holiday, Please just turn off you lights. – Thank You!

As I was searching, I learnt that in Virginia, sex offenders are required to leave their lights off on Halloween. I was surprised. I think that is probably a universal law somewhere…