FOR THOSE WHO ARE INTERESTED, here is the complete, un-edited text, as presented by Red Skelton, on The Red Skelton Hour, January 14, 1969.

Red Skelton:

“Getting back to school, getting back to school, I remember a teacher that I had. Now I only wee, I went, I went through the seventh grade, I went through the seventh grade. I left home when I was 10 years old because I was hungry. (laughter) And .. this is true. I worked in the Summer and went to school in the Winter. But, I had this one teacher, he was the principal of the Harrison school, in Viennese Indiana. To me, this was the greatest teacher, a real sage of..of my time, anyhow.

He had such wisdom. And we were all reciting the Pledge of Allegiance one day, and he walked over. This little old teacher … Mr. Lasswell was his name. … Mr. Lasswell was his ah …
(at this point a pause and laughter. Red is making faces and playing with his hat!)

He says: …

“I’ve been listening to you boys and girls recite the Pledge of Allegiance .. all semester … and it seems as though it is becoming monotonous to you.

If I may, may I recite it and try to explain to you the meaning of each word.

*I* — me, an individual, a committee of one.
*Pledge*–dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self-pity.
*Allegiance*–my love and my devotion.
*To the Flag*–our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there is respect, because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody’s job.
*United*–that means that we have all come together.
*States*–individual communities that have united into 48 great states. 48 individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose, all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common purpose, and that’s love for country.
*And to the Republic*–Republic, a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it’s from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.
*For Which It Stands*
*One Nation* — One nation, meaning, so blessed by God.
*Indivisible* — incapable of being divided.
*With Liberty* — which is freedom, the right of power to live one’s own life without threats or fear or some sort of retaliation.
*And Justice* — the principle or qualities of dealing fairly with others.
*For All*–For all… which means boys and girls, it’s as much your country, as it is mine.”

And now boys and girls let me hear you recite, the Pledge of Allegiance.

“I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our country and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance – “under God”.

Wouldn’t it be a pity if someone said, “That is a prayer” and that would be eliminated from schools, too?

If anyone wants any let me know… it’s $5 per bottle.

I sometimes worry about myself. I joined the US Army back in 1984 when their motto was, “We do more before breakfast than most people do all day”. Now there is a reason for that… it’s called 1 a.m. wake up call. What the hell was I thinking… Be All You Can Be! Young, Dumb, and full of %$&.

Army of One!

Yea, I got my instructor certification through the “Red Cross”.

For my dumb-shit neighbors I found a few tips that might help you ….

Halloween Etiquette for Kids!

• Stay off the grass and out of the flowerbeds.
• If the porch light is off, pass up the house and go only to well-lit doors. (assuming they have treats)
• Don’t block the door once you have received your treat.
• Don’t ask for more candy or another type of candy.
• Only ring the doorbell one time. Don’t knock after the ring.
• Don’t ask for water or a restroom at anyone’s house.

Now I bolded the one I want to mention to you. When you have three exterior lights on, a pumpkin on the front porch, and your house looks scary as hell, it give the idea you’re participating in Trick-or-Treat. Now I realized you all are a bunch of FuckTards or something but why waste the kids time. We knew you were scurrying behind the closed door peaking out a blind, and when we left still didn’t shut your gate or turn off your lights?

Now I typically don’t go for the trick end of Halloween but next year if you do it again I will make an exception for you. Seriously though and I’m asking politely, if you’re too cheap and have a stick up your ass about a child’s holiday, Please just turn off you lights. – Thank You!

As I was searching, I learnt that in Virginia, sex offenders are required to leave their lights off on Halloween. I was surprised. I think that is probably a universal law somewhere…

What a nightmare here in Florida it was to adopt a child. We had a baby placed with us July of 2012, and was told we would be able to adopt by November or December 2012.  Her dad had voluntary relinquished his parental right and the Mother hadn’t done anything to keep the baby. She never stopped drinking or doing drugs… any drug she could get her hands on.  Neither attended any classes or NEVER passed a drug test. Well we missed those dates and then was told it would be March… then July, then Sept. 24, Oct 15, and finally Oct. 22, 2013 we were able to adopt the most beautiful baby in the world.  The reason was “Eckerd Youth Alternatives” could receive funds for a certain period of time and since we were a NO PROBLEM case they wanted to suck all the funds out before allowing us to adopt. Typical government subcontractors huh?

“Eckerd Youth Alternatives” who was the case managers in charge was a joke. Well, our first case manager we had was very good and I’d never say anything bad about her, but once it went to adoption … to say it as nice as I can, “It was a cluster fuck”. It was one fuck up after the next,  one excuse after the next, always blaming someone else for the mistakes. Never admitting anything was their fault and constantly lying about everything. There is a word that describes the process… INCOMPETENCE!  From our case manager to her supervisor. I lost count on how many lies we caught them in. No ethics whatsoever!

It got so bad we wrote the governor and ask for help! But they work under him and he’s no better than they are. Rick Scott thanks for nothing! I’ll be talking as many people as I can to NOT vote for you. You’re opponent couldn’t be as bad as you are. I guess there was no money to grease the pockets so we got NO help? Zero help from our governor who proclaims to be a big supporter of adoption.

BUT, as of Oct. 22, 2013 the adoption is done. If it hadn’t been for my wife constantly calling and going over their heads to the top people it would have been sometime in 2014.

My wife got a speeding ticket and said, I’m going to court and get this thrown out. Now she was on HWY 50 coming from Orlando (heading west) and she was in Sumter County, Florida.

I told her…listen Sumter County is a small poor Florida County. They need revenue so how do you suppose they get that? Going into Sumter the speed is 65 miles per hour, and on the other side it’s 65 miles per hour. But the small stretch of Sumter County is 55! That screams “SPEED TRAP”!  Of course she didn’t really think so until she got to court. She said it was Enis and Boss Hog, smiling at each other and giggling.  She said before they started Boss Hog made a speech and said how they made him work that day and that everyone in the court room would be taking an advanced driving course.  At that point she knew I was right… corrupt to the gills!

I told her that is why all the assholes are getting in trouble now days! We have recorders, cameras, and the internet. We are holding them responsible for any corruption we can catch them in. I’ve had them tell me that as long as we know them we ignore the DUI’s. In small communities that all get drunk together and joke about driving drunk. Oh but it’s OK they’re a cop. – I’m so happy every time I hear another corrupt prick getting fired … even better when I hear them being sent to prison.

You know the poor bastard who drives this truck gets pulled over dozens of times per day!

I’m no expert and don’t claim to be. But I’ve worked hard in getting dates with certain girls and do know what I MUST NOT do.

This guy is an employee at “Five Guy Burgers” in Brooksville, Florida. This cute little girl with a nice little body was setting there with him eating. He never looked up, even when he spoke to her. Now alot has changed in 30 years since I was chasing girls but I just can’t believe they enjoy being ignored. Dude it’s a rule somewhere that when you have a little hottie at your table you turn all electronics OFF. You pay attention to her and her only! You talk about her, you listen to her, you smile and look at HER! NOT YOUR FREAKIN’ PHONE!

Hey go ahead and not listen… there are probably going to be a lot of 40 year old virgins in 20 years or so! If I was 30 years younger I’d be all over these cute girls that are getting ignored. LOL

Hey maybe that is what they like… let me know if I’m wrong.