What you are about to read is the most serious and observative article about the Teletubbies on the web. If you think the Teletubbies are likeable characters in an equally likeable TV show, then read on, for you may never let your toddler watch it again.

The Teletubbies is America's number one children's show, with 16 million viewers and over 2 billion dollars in merchandise sales. Critics rave about the show's "excellent" content and educational value, especially for a show aimed at one year-olds.

The series is set in "Teletubbieland," a utopian scene with rolling hills, golf course-style grass, flowers, large rabbits, and the "Tubbiedrome," a domed spaceship overgrown with grass, complete with sliding doors and a ceiling hatch entrance.

A typical episode begins with the Teletubbies waking up to the sound of a periscoped loudspeaker raised from the ground alerting them to begin the show, after which the Teletubbies dance around and do nonsensical things set to eerily bubbly music. An omniscient voice narrates, and often talks directly to the Teletubbies, disciplining them with a scornful "Noooooo!" After more psychedelic scenes ensue with additional dancing, a giant pinwheel on the horizon emits waves of mind-altering stars symbolizing radio waves, which make the Teletubbies' antennas glow in sequence. One Teletubby is chosen by this pinwheel to play a five-minute video of human children on its cathode-ray-tube belly, after which they impatiently yipe "Again! Again!" upon which their ids are immediately fulfilled with a replay of the exact same five-minute video. After this, a song follows or a skit is done documenting a minor conflict occuring with the Teletubbies which is eventually resolved. Soon, the periscoped loudspeaker once again commands them to leave the show. After the narrator scolds them for not doing so, they jump into the Tubbiedrome's top hatch, and the sun in the sky, which contains an aryan baby's giggly face, sets on the horizon and the show ends.

Now, let's discuss the Teletubby characters themselves.

The older female is Laa-Laa, is yellow in color and has a curly pig-tailed antenna on her head. The older male is Tinky-Winky, a purple effeminate character with an upside-down purple triangle for an antenna, carries a red handbag, and sometimes wears a skirt. Next is Dipsy, the younger negroid male with a green phallus-antenna on its head, and occasionally wears an ink-splotched white top-hat. Lastly, there's Po, whose name in German translates to "Buttocks" in English, is the younger female, and has an O-shaped antenna.

Next, who exactly are these Teletubbies? If one reads UFO and abduction literature, the answer is obvious. Dr David M Jacobs, in his new book The Threat has come to the conclusion that Grey aliens are here to wipe out mankind in effort to repopulate earth with alien-human hybrids. Abductees are often shown images of hybrids living peacefully in a grassy, sunny, post-apocalyptic utopia, enjoying their new planet; normal humans left were nothing more than docile slaves similar to those of Planet of the Apes or The Time Machine. In addition, Grey aliens are known to often reside on earth, but underground. All of this is significant because not only do the Teletubbies resemble cuddly carricatures of hybrids (with their pale and hairless faces, large-irised eyes, and improportionately big heads), but they live in a grassy Utopian Teletubbieland where the only live human-like creatures around are the rabbits, and where a home is a domed burried spaceship complete with sliding doors and metallic interior.

Now that the premise of the show and characters described, the following specific "odd" details if Teletubbies shall be listed and explained. It is easy to discount one observation, such as Tinky-Winky being gay, but try refuting all of the following points.

At the beginning of the show and all throughout, numerous camera shots are made of a blond, blue-eyed baby, whose face is superimposed upon a large cartoonish sun. The Teletubbies often seem to seek approval of this baby, as if it were a god of some sort, much like the Egyptians sought approval of their sun-god, Ra. It is well known that the Nazis not only held beliefs in the Black Sun worship, but also promoted the Aryan race, and had ties with the Grey aliens who supposedly inspired the whole movement. This establishes a link between Teletubbies and Greys.

A towering pinwheel is an integral part of an episode, for it rapidly spins and sends out waves of sparkling mind-control waves toward the teletubbies, upon which they laugh in ecstasy and obey this pinwheel's subliminal commands. The Teletubbies have great respect for the pinwheel. Why? Note the spokes of the pinwheel pointing clockwise, and the wheel turning to the left -- a Nazi swastika. Not all swastikas are bad. Those that spin clockwise are symbols of goodness and creation. Why does this particular pinwheel spin left like a Nazi swastika?

Narrating behind-camera is a hypnotic, omniscient voice reminiscient of Big Brother, whose style is patterned after American child psychologists with his low, slow, hypnotizing speech. It disciplines the Teletubbies, and describes their diction to the audience (a toddler audience) with fancy diction, often mistranslated from Brittish English when redubbed in American-English, indicating that this voice is authoritarian and knowledgeable, one that must be obeyed at all times.

At the start and end of each episode, a periscope-shaped loudspeaker extends from the ground, and an authoritative female's voice repeats several times, "Time for Teletubbies, time for Teletubbies," as in movie sequences where prisoners or futuristic soldiers are notified by intercom where to go and what to do. Clearly, this symbolizes the dehumanization of authority to a form that must be obeyed without regard to whom the source of such commands are.

The most obvious observation, one the author made months ago, is that Tinky-Winky is gay. Is there something wrong with being gay? Of course there is, but it is becoming so frequent today that no one looks twice upon this phenomenon, which is really due to man-made chemicals interfering with fetal development. Anyway, Tinky-Winky is a male character, and described so by the narrator, even though he carries a red handbag and even wore a skirt at one point. The producers of the show explained away the handbag, but not a word yet on the skirt. He is purple, and has the gay pride triangle as an antenna. Unless Tinky Winky is a doctor-bag carrying Scottsman who loves geometry, Tinky-Winky is nothing but gay.

Dipsy, the younger green-colored African-alien male, sports a long, erect penis upon his head (which fits suspiciously into Po's "O" -- rather dramatic considering they are brother and sister). This isn't too spectacular, unless one examines the Teletubby song "Dipsy's Fancy Hat" in which the narrator says "Dipsy's walking with his hat on very proudly into view/ If you had a hat like that on, you'd be walking proudly too!" Now why would Dipsy be proud of wearing a hat? Considering he is covering his antenna with a hat and being proud about doing so, one can conclude that his hat symbolizes the condom. Is it not the left-wing agenda of such organizations as Planned Parenthood to promote condom distribution and consequent frivolous sex? In fact, is Brittain, the country from which Teletubbies originated, not one of the most left-wing countries in western Europe, going so far as to ban handguns? And don't forget that Nazis were left-wing extremists themselves. Maybe the producers of the show are simply advocating safe-sex...especiaially when it comes to incest with Po. And if Po translates to "Buttocks," then homosexual anal sex is implied, but at least it's protected...

They have little body hair, have minute whites in their eyes, and have unusually large heads. Does this describe the Teletubbies? Well, this description originally came from abductees' descriptions of alien-human hybrids. Teletubbies are hybrids and represent the post-human civilization that Grey aliens are striving to implement. The cuddly Teletubbies are carricatures of hybrids, just as Barney is a carricature of a T-Rex. Just as kids can be made to love a ferocious meat-eating lizard, so too can they be made to love the equally malevolent Greys.

References to UFO's and Christianity are made frequently. For example, one Teletubby-song entitled "Clouds" has the narrator say, "One day in Teletubbieland, something appeared...it was a cloud." A "cloud" in Biblical terms indicates a metallic, silver spacecraft. The Teletubby, of course, is overjoyed at seeing this "cloud." In addition, during one episode, a round object is seen descending from the distant blue sky toward the Teletubbies, which floated onto the ground before them. The metal panels on its sides opened up mechanically, and a computer-generated tapdancing bear does his act, after which the panels close, and the circus-tent-like disc rises back into the sky. Excluding the bear, this is typical of a close encounter of the third kind.

Supporting the UFO proposition is the Teletubbies' home, called the "Tubbiedrome," which is an underground spaceship with metallic interior, windows of seven panels, arched entryway to sliding doors, and a top-hatch. Inside, buttons, levers, and gadgets are abound. It is entirely grass covered on the outside, at the end of the show, the Teletubbies jump into their Tubbiedrome through a hatch, looking as though they were diving beneath ground to their home, indicating that they reside underground just like Grey aliens do.

Teletubby music has two unmistakable characteristics in most of its songs. First are the electronic beeping and whining songs, and second, a military snare-drum beat. One of their songs is called "Follow my Leader" not the leader, but my leader, which is in the style of polka, the traditional music of Germany. Guess which "Leader" this refers to... All of this suggests that the Teletubbies' themes are associated with a technocratic dictatorship, once again reminding us of their connection with aliens and Nazis. Combine this with the periscoped loudpeakers, and this thesis becomes all too apparent.

The teletubby speech is both Orwellian and subvocal. Instead of saying "Oh-Oh" or "Hello" as two separate words, one word "Eh-Oh" is used. Restricting a vocabulary by combining two words into one is Newspeak, a language used by characters oppressed by totalitarian rule of Big Brother in the book 1984. The mispronunciations of common words leads to purposefully comical sounding words different in meaning from the original. For example, the "S" is often dropped, and when "scooter" becomes "cooter," a slang term for the female genitalia, an unprecedented level of covert perversion arises, though undetected by ignorant parents who don't pay attention and thus miss these details.

In keep with Biblical reference and Naziism, the Teletubbies have a song called "Dirty Knees" in which one by one, three of the four Teletubbies come into the song, each with dirty knees (what were they doing? giving felatio on their knees?). For the first two Teletubbies, the chorus is narrated, "Two dirty knees, two dirty knees, and wash them clean," and the second chorus is "Four dirty knees, four dirty knees, and wash them clean." But for the third chorus, the repetition is changed slightly. It goes, "SIX dirty knees, SIX dirty knees, SIX dirty knees, and wash them clean." It isn't hard to catch the "666" in this chorus. "Wash them clean" can be interpreted as ethnic cleansing, something the Nazis are very familiar with. Holocaust and Antichrist are favorite themes drilled into the minds of toddlers, and parents don't seem to mind. Furthermore, in a separate episode, three ships rendezvous with the Teletubbies, each has a blinking light on top. In one sequence, the first light goes "BLINK- BLINK-BLINK...BLINK-BLINK-BLINK," then the second ship does the same, and the third ship ends the sequency...666! Two instances of the Number of the Beast in a children's show. Coincidence? In context of the other details covered in this article, it is very unlikely. Later in the "Dirty Knees" song, Po enters the song in the chorus "One dirty Po, one dirty Po." Remember what Po means in German? Clandestine humor on behalf of the song writers, one suspects once again.

The apocalyptic overtones of Teletubbies is accented with the song "Animals," the scene of which shows animals of all kinds walking two by two, an allusion to Noah and his Ark, as well as the flood. The flood was also symbolized in the ship sequence where a portion of Teletubbieland flooded with computerized water to form a lake. Apocalypse and alien hybrids are the primary themes in the Teletubby series.

Tubbiecustard is described as a pink fluid that nourishes the Teletubbies, and Tubbies toast consists of round, dark, pieces of bread with a white smiley face drawn on them. This has two meanings. First, drinking a pink fluid and eating bread relates to Catholic communion, in which members eat the eucharist and drink wine to symbolize the consumption of Jesus Christ's flesh and blood. Why this is blasphemous in Teletubbies is because the characters are lustfully addicted to both Tubbietoast and Tubbiecustard. Also, Tubbiecustard comes out of a phallic faucett in spurts much like an ejaculating penis, behind the machine of which each Teletubby suspiciously jumps up and down with its hand down by its groin. Second, in abduction literature, it is common fact that Greys' source of nourishment is a hormonal liquid (latent with melatonin, primarily) derived from the blood of other species and absorbed through the skin. Because pink is analogous to blood's crimson, and because the Tubbietoast has a human smiley face on it, it is reasonable to associate this ritual with the Grey's consumption of human melatonin.

What, then, is the Teletubby-producers' true agenda? In context of the mounds of alien propaganda that has been disseminated in the last five years for the purpose of acclimatizing our minds to the alien reality, it is clear that this children's show is but one of many forms of indoctrination we have been exposed to. This indoctrination is split into categories targeted at many different age groups. For toddlers, it is the Teletubbies; for older children, alien toys; for teens, alien T-shirts; and for middle-aged adults, Grey mugs, Hallmark cards, and the X-Files. There is nothing for Baby-Boomers and older generations, suggesting these groups are scheduled for total erradication upon the Grey invasion and repopulation of earth with aryan human-alien hybrids. Greys have evil intentions and are in reality the false angels in Revelation who accompay the Antichrist. How can many be made to worship the "image" of the Beast? By being brainwashed first. Your children are the youngest victims of this indoctrination campaign, and you are helping this process along by letting them watch the Teletubbies.

Is this article much ado about nothing? Does the author appear to have too much time on his hands? Maybe. Maybe those who warned German Jews of the coming Holocaust were also equally wasting their time. The evidence points toward Teletubbies not being the innocent show that its creators and ignorant parents accross America claim it to be. The question arises as to how significant an effect this show has upon children, considering most are below age-three and not consciously aware of the sinister symbolism the author has uncovered.

Let a question be asked to the reader: can the reader presently consciously remember any event or detail before he or she was three years old? The author can. If such a detail remains in the mind all these years, it is also present during the later time that such a detail is known subconsciously to represent some particular theme. So even though a toddler may not know that a Teletubby is a Grey-hybrid, or that the pinwheel is a Swastika, or even that the lovable Tinky-Winky is homosexual, later in life such memories remain, and if at age thirteen such a child learns of homosexuality or aliens or Naziism, the past memories are there to influence his mind and personality. Those who claim the show to be harmless because only young children watch it are mentally ignorant, but that is expected with the profundity of idiots that litter our population (author excluded).

You, the reader, can blow all of this off as an exercise in trivial paranoia, but be advised that the mental fate of your child, or those young ones you know who watch Teletubbies, lies in your hands. You must weigh his or her future with your desire for ignorance. And if, perchance, you were to make the wrong choice, don't lament when your child becomes an alien-sympathizing, subvocal, homosexual, technocratic Nazi.